Leaders. It’s almost impossible to experience life without having at some point a leader or mentor. Their knowledge and life experiences are major contributors to how our worlds are shaped. Each and every one of us views life differently, but those views are all echoes of the views and beliefs of those who have at one point or another been in positions of influence. The obvious first and major influences are our parents. Don’t believe me, just watch the first minute of this clip from the movie 42. It’s both wonderful and heartbreaking how powerful of an influence our parents are in our lives. Now, I don’t know the secrets to a good leader. I can’t write a book or blog post about what qualities make a great leader. What I can do is share with you four of the greatest leaders in my life - outside of my parents - who have made incredible impacts on me and helped make the person I am today. Zane Withers This amazing man has always been in my life. He’s the father of my best friend, Brandon, who was always like a brother to me. The Withers family have built their lives around the principles of honesty, hard work, integrity, and down-to-earth simplicity. Zane was my first Boy Scout Master. He’s a legend in the scouting community where I grew up. It was through Zane that I learned the value of the Boy Scouts Program. He showed how it was more than just a troop of boys getting together to do projects or activities. He embedded the fundamental principles of what it means to be a Boy Scout in my life so thoroughly, it’s still a part of me today. Many of the lessons he taught me when I was 11 to 13 years old I still hold dear. Ryan Nielsen Ryan was also a youth leader and companion to Zane when I was around 12 years old. He taught me that it’s okay to still have fun … even as an adult. I guess I had a notion like most young boys that when you get older you don’t goof around. Ryan, with his quirky sense of humor and over-the-top imagination, proved otherwise. It’s always okay to have fun, be a kid again, let imagination run wild, and be goofy. Geoffrey Dean Geoffrey Dean was a rock in my life as a religious leader. He too was one of my youth/scout leaders and helped me greatly in progressing and even achieving my Eagle Scout Award. He also helped me achieve my Duty to God award in the church’s youth program at the time. But even more than that, at a time in my young life when I struggled and needed not just a friend but a spiritual rock in my life, Geoffrey was there. He guided me and helped me learn and grow spiritually which helped lay the foundation of my conviction to my God and my religion. Mike Walker Finally, Mike Walker. Mike’s influence in my life is very different than Zane’s, Ryan’s, and Geoffrey’s. He was never my youth leader … he was just a friend. I remember one time tossing a football around with my buddy, Brandon, and Mike showed up. He was a counselor in the bishopric at the time so he was wearing a suit and tie. He took the ball, lined us up, and would have us run passing routes and throw us the ball. I remember thinking he was a horrible quarterback because we couldn’t catch any of his passes. They were always too far. But Brandon and I didn’t complain, we simply took it as a challenge to run harder and faster to get his passes. Later on, I learned that he was a great quarterback and was purposefully throwing them out of reach. He saw our potential and pushed us to achieve it. Mike often would tell my parents after something like this that if I continued with that mindset I would be able to achieve anything. So, what makes a great leader? I’ll let you glean from these stories what you think a great leader is. I only know this … if the leader, in whatever capacity he or she is in, does nothing more than elevate the lives of those they lead and inspire them to continue on and be better, then they are a great leader indeed.
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Why would anyone want to write? That’s a question that I got asked a lot during my first year of teaching. I taught freshmen in a rough part of town. I mean...really rough. I heard worse language in the hallways of that school than I ever did on a construction site. It was crazy! So many of them—and I feel so many teenagers today...even the good ones—don’t really understand the significance of writing and the ability to write. It truly is ironic that our generation today complains about writing when we probably write more than any other generation before us. How many words are written in text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and all the other social media networks? To say that they’d never use the stuff they learn in school about writing only shows that they are truly ignorant...dare I say...lazy. It’s even more so when these people leave comments on articles and YouTube videos. I get a kick out of reading comments almost more so than watching the video. The lack of education shows in their inability to write clearly. When I first told my uncle that I was an English teacher, the very first thing he told me was that he wished he could go back and pay more attention in his Middle School English class. This was a retired medical practitioner who had an extremely successful medical career—and he wanted to learn how to communicate better! That’s why I tell my students that anyone can, and should, learn to write. Writing is not a talent—it’s a skill. It’s something that can be practiced and improved just like riding a bike, playing a sport or an instrument, or creating an artistic masterpiece. But even more than just the practicality of effective writing, why do I choose to write? I write because I want to make people smile. People are drawn to good stories of intrigue and adventure. There is also a deep human desire to connect and express themselves verbally. My favorite movie quote in regards to writing or reading comes from the movie Shadowland starring Anthony Hopkins, “We read to know we’re not alone.” Reading allows us the chance to discover the words we so long to say. Often we think, 'no one can truly understand what I’m going through'. Then we read a book where the character goes through exactly what we’re going through. The words resonate with us. The character understands—the author understands. We find comfort in knowing that we’re not alone...and we also grow in our ability to find the words to express what we feel. How could that not make any writer happy? Knowing that they have now enriched the life of someone. If I could achieve that as a writer, I would consider myself successful. However, that is not the real purpose of why I write. I write because I have discovered for myself an incredible realm of endless possibilities and adventure. These stories of far off tales and ancient, magical lands have filled and occupied my mind since I was a boy—and only I know how to get there. I want others to enjoy these far off kingdoms as much as I have. Several of my students have had glimpses into these lands. Seeing them enjoy the stories, connect to the characters, and long for more light in these undiscovered territories is what motivates me to continue to write. Recently I was thinking about relationships and how to improve my relationship with everyone in my life - particularly with my family. While contemplating this, my mind went to the timeless advice given my many, many family members, friends, and famous individuals … the key to happy relationships is "sacrificing in love." Okay … I believe that to be true. But like many things that I’m learning recently, I believe our interpretation of it may be slightly off. Don’t get me wrong, sacrificing is noble, good, and right; but improperly applied, it has the potential to cause more damage than good. So how do we properly apply or enact sacrificing? Well, we need to understand its root meaning. The word "sacrifice" has its roots in Latin which ultimately means, "to make sacred." So does you giving up your night out with friends, or your time playing your favorite game a "sacrifice"? It can be. But there’s the rub. I see it frequently in myself as well as others, this notion that, “if I give up (sacrifice) something I love for her (or him), then they should do the same for me.” That is wrong! That attitude does not make your sacrifice "sacred." It just makes you miserable. Why is that? Well, Dr. Alexander Loyd in his book, The Love Code, explains it is because we are motivated by the wrong type of love. Yes … there are different types of love and we all too often base our actions off of the wrong type. This type is a selfish motivation; a prideful, narcissistic type. It’s the, "I’ll give up something for you so you should give up something for me," attitude. The problem with that is our relationships then become a scorecard. We instinctively keep track of all of the things we’ve done for him or her, and get easily annoyed when we’re asked to do more, or help beyond what we think is our responsibility … or even if they throw the score back at us (yes … that will inevitably happen)! So, what’s the remedy? It’s simple, really (and at the same time very difficult). Change your way of thinking - your paradigm - to simply give to your loved ones. Notice the subtle difference? It’s a simple, two-letter word that just needs to be removed from the sentence … up. Now, this isn’t mind-blowing or ground-breaking information. It’s just a simple step in the right direction to heal relationships. Stop viewing your actions towards your loved ones and things you have “given up”, and start looking at them as things you have given. There is a difference. When we give a gift at a birthday celebration or Christmas, do we expect anything in return? We shouldn’t. And when we don’t have that expectation, seeing the joy on the recipient's face when they open the gift is always the best experience. So why don’t we do this with our loved ones? Give it a try. Stop thinking in terms of 50/50. Stop keeping a mental score-card of all the things you’ve given up for your loved one. That’ll only create unrealistic expectations for them and drive a wedge between them and yourself. Instead, start thinking of the things you are doing as giving - and give 100% unconditionally. As you do so, focus on that giving being love-based. True, honest, unconditional love. By doing this, you’ll create a loving bond that will supersede anything this world could provide. By doing this, you’ll find more joy, love, peace, and even success than you could ever have imagined. This is true sacrifice. By giving in love, you have now made your actions and your relationship sacred. And look at what you have gained by doing so. It makes you realize that true sacrifice is not denoting a sense of lack, but true abundance. The abundance of love, joy, and peace. |
Michael N. WoolleyThank for joining me! Here I simply share my thoughts and ideas about life. Most of it is just my personal opinion so take it as you will. If you'd like to read fun adventures, then check out my YA FANTASY/ADVENTURE tab. You can also support me on Patreon where you'll then get more creative writing content. Archives
January 2020
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