When you really think about it . . . if you step on a nipsey, you'll at least be able to console yourself with the fact that its death was quick and . . . hopefully . . . painless. Now, before you jump to conclusions--I was not the one to step on the little fellow. But I am certainly feeling the repercussions of it.
Hello--my name is Tracy. No! I am not a girl. I am a full-grown man who has been cursed with the name Tracy. It was my dad's fault. He had always been a fan of pirate stories and books about tall wooden ships. So when I, his firstborn son, popped out, he insisted that I be named Tracy after a fictional character of his own creation. . . . Captain Tracy! Swashbuckling rogue with thick, silky black hair that hung down past his broad and sturdy shoulders. His weather-beaten scowl and grey, storm-driven eyes made every maiden in every port swoon and fawn over him relentlessly. His sea-tanned skin and infamous tattoo on his hairy and well-defined chest were enough to cause even the most hardened men to give him some extra room in the taverns and streets. That was Captain Tracy! A worthy character to aspire to. I am not like that in the least bit! I am Tracy Jacobs. A five-foot, eight-inch sixth-grade teacher who's down on his luck and desperate to make a new start. Women don't swoon over me. In fact, my fiance happened to leave me at the altar. Literally, at the altar! She was the one and only love I ever had. Seriously . . . I never even had a girlfriend before her. Maybe a crush or two, but nothing ever more than a friendship. My main claim to fame in regards to any type of physical prowess . . . I play ultimate frisbee. So rather than being a great and terrible pirate of the seven seas, my dad ended up with a nerdy, reclusive introvert for a son. Sorry, dad! At least I still have a full head of hair, though that might not last much longer either. Still, it's lasted far longer than any other guy in my family. But back to the nipsies. What are nipsies, you ask? Well, it's simple. They're of the fairy-folk. The tallest among them reach no more than a quarter of an inch in height. They've actually only been recently discovered by the main mortal community. At least, those who still believe/know that the magical world is real and not fake. I, myself, didn't think that there was anything beyond what I could see, hear, smell, touch, or taste. So you could imagine my surprise when the so-called magical world literally burst upon me. But I digress again. Nipsies! Nipsies were first introduced to the main mortal world in 2008. And while many in the human world who believe in the magical world have most likely heard of them, if you were to stop one on the street and ask them, "Hey, what's a nipsey?" They probably wouldn't be able to answer you. They might need a refresher course. In which case, I'd refer them to Brandon Mull. But I'm sure you're not here to listen to me talk about "random" things here and there. Gosh! You sound like my students who are either amused or annoyed when I go off on tangents. So let's go back to the bit of where my life got flipped upside down and led me to this point. Oh . . . by the way . . . the whole stepping on the nipsey thing got me cursed. But we'll get to that later. This all started three years ago when I began my career as a teacher. I won't get into the nitty-gritty details, but for the sake of time, I'll just say that that first day on the job I thought would change my life forever. That was the day I met Sophronia. A fellow teacher who I fell for almost instantly. We spent the first school year getting to know each other as colleagues. Then, on the last day of school, I took a leap of faith and asked her out. She said, yes! Now, remember what I said before . . . I had never had a girlfriend before. I had gone on a few dates throughout high school and college, but nothing ever serious developed. Dating Sophronia, though, it was simply magical every time. That led to another glorious year of falling madly in love . . . at least I was hopelessly, madly in love with her. You can judge for yourself if she was in love with me. By the winter break of my second year, we decided to get married. It would be right at the end of the school year, and practically the entire school was invited. That early June day was perfect! Can you see how all of this was ironic? Everything seemed to be so perfect something was bound to go wrong. I'll admit that Murphy did bounce around in my brain more frequently than I'd like. But I took the fact that everything was falling so neatly into place as a sign that nothing horrible would happen. I'd like to say that when I saw Sophronia enter the chapel that Murphy high-tailed it out of there. But, like a nagging booer at a . . . well . . . at a wedding, he only began to dance and flail about in my brain even louder. I did my best to ignore him. Sophronia looked dazzling perfect. Her golden hair, her deep brown eyes, her sparkling smile, and lush red lip . . . she must have had Aphrodite help her get ready for this special moment. I'll admit, it was extremely difficult for me to stand still and serene as a groom should. I felt like a whole school of mini-frogs woke up in my stomach and were leaping about within me . . . even as high as my throat. It also felt like Murphy was still there to stamp on any frog that got close to him. I'll tell ya . . . the dissonance between elation and premonition is not pleasant. It's actually kind of nauseating. But looking at my bride-to-be made everything better. I was able to quell my nerves and quiet Mr. Murphy to some degree. Sophronia had made it all the way to the dais when suddenly she stopped. Up to that point, we had not broken eye contact the entire time. She didn't look 'away' from me. But in her pause, her gaze sort of drifted. It reminded me of movies when a character gets shot with a dart, and they slowly begin to slip away. Her eyes suddenly became distant and . . . it drifted away . . . even though she was still staring right at me. It was then that Murphy began laughing hysterically in my head. "Sophronia?" I gently attempted to get her attention while fighting to ignore the crazy imp laughing in my brain. I even took a step--one single step--off of the dais to offer her my hand and guide her up to the altar. Shockingly, she took an involuntary step backward when I did so. At least I hope it was involuntary. I'm not so sure now that I think about it. A ripple of gasps and whispers pulsed through the crowd. I hate to admit it, but I felt myself get very hot all of a sudden when I heard it. I didn't know what to do. Should I have gone and finished helping her? I mean, she was obviously not herself. Should I have stepped back up and wait for her as a patient husband should? I was frozen and didn't know what to do! Sophronia continued to stare at me but at a distance. "She's not even really looking at you," Murphy shouted at me from inside my head. The words reverberated off of my skull. I began to feel a headache forming behind my ears that extended up to the back of my eyeballs. I knew what he was talking about. Even though her gaze was right on me, my beloved fiance was not looking at me. Three seconds! From the moment that I stepped down and she jumped back, three painfully, agonizing second passed that felt like three lifetimes. On the fourth second, Sophronia finally snapped back to reality, and I knew she was looking at me. The connection for that brief, fourth second, sent a torrent of communications. I saw within her eyes love for me, pity and sorrow for us, and a deep . . . regret? Why was she regretting this . . . us? It's hard to explain, but all of this and more passed within that one second, and it was all crystal clear and understandable. On the fifth second, the woman I had fallen hopelessly, madly, and deeply in love with, spun around and sprinted out of the chapel. By the eighth second, she was gone. I'm confident that those frogs in my stomach were actually those crazy poisonous frogs from the Amazon and that a few of them found my heart. In those three seconds of watching Sophronia sprinting away, I found myself wanting to vomit. Darn poisonous frogs! The scandalous whispers of the crowd felt like roaring waves within my ears. Adding it to Murphy's maniacal laughter; the headache that was beginning to turn into a volcanic eruption inside my skull; and the poisonous frogs brooding in my heart--I did what any nerdy introvert would do. I fainted.
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Michael N. WoolleyThank for joining me! Here I simply share my thoughts and ideas about life. Most of it is just my personal opinion so take it as you will. If you'd like to read fun adventures, then check out my YA FANTASY/ADVENTURE tab. You can also support me on Patreon where you'll then get more creative writing content. Archives
January 2020
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